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Personal Profile for clarence

I am: Male
I am from: United States


My Progress Blog

Eleven days sober and thinking about an AA meeting

Hello my name is Ernest, I have been using this site on and off for about two years or so. For the past two years I have had many episodes of binges where I have drank everyday all day and my choice of alcohol is beer. I called into work many days to do this and basically have quit a lot of jobs because of my drinking. I have abandoned my family during these binges even though they did not abandon me. I can't believe the patience my jobs had with me, I never was fired but was reprimanded about attendance. Even though I was messing up, people still could see the good in me and my jobs new I was a good worker but they might of known too that I had a drinking problem. I'm originally from NY state but I have been living in Louisiana for about 15 years. Its been hard being so far from my family especially on my mother who worries about me being sober. She goes to meetings now so she can try to understand my addiction and also for support for herself. I've been thinking about going to a meeting myself but right now I am not sure that is for me, this site has helped me tremendously even though I have only went a couple months at best sober, I can credit the alcohol help center for motivating me and everyone on this site with their helpful words and advice and a lot times their story. I am eleven days sober now and I am taking it one day at a time. I tell myself crap, I have been through this so many times and when am I going to get it right. Well I recently found out I have created a health condition for myself because of my drinking over the years, I have pancreatitis and it really gave me a wakeup call. I didn't quit immediately though, I drank for about a month and a half after I was told this by a doctor. My stomach hurt everyday and they told me at the hospital ER that if I continued to drink I would have more problems and possibly die. That wasn't even enough at first to make me stop. I eventually came to my senses and realized and acknowledged that my life was more important to me than some beer in a can that was slowly killing me. So here I am back communicating on this site knowing that my life depends on my sobriety and that the people who love me are worried and just want to see me healthy and sober and I love them so much for not giving up on me even though they almost did because they thought I had given up on myself. Well I'm here to say I want to live and I want to live a sober life and be the person I want to be, not the person alcohol makes me. I hope to communicate more on this site with everyone. I don't just want to be a stranger looking in on what everyone is saying and going through, I want to be helped in some way and also help others in whatever way I can. I hope I can go to a meeting but I will pray on that and god will lead me in the right direction which ever way that is. Thanks everyone for listening to my story.