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Pasco Jul 23, 2018 (05:27 AM)  

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Hi Murph: I've tossed out beer and booze (not a wine drinker) so many times and said "I'm going to quit" so many times and the next day I'm re-buying.  So if you made a few days good job.  I don't know how to even make 3 or 4 days.  I can't imagine how good that would feel.  Take care and thanks for sharing with us.

Lynn123 Jul 05, 2018 (11:00 AM)  

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Congratulations making it through the 4th, holidays can be tough.  You mentioned feeling good this morning, remember that feeling this afternoon and tonight when you want to drink.  I heard something once that was so true for me. I don’t remember exactly what it was but something along the lines of...there is a difference in waking up and coming too, falling asleep and passing out.  So, so true.


Good luck today!


MurphMom Jul 05, 2018 (09:35 AM)  

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Well....I made it through the 4th.  I did have two light beers (bottles) at lunch that were actually brought to me by my husband.  Since moderation is my goal (and red wine is the real problem), I don't feel bad about it.  When we got home last night was when I struggled a little.  But I'd tossed all the wine and was exhausted, so I had a cup of tea and went to bed.  I feel really good this morning and am off to the gym shortly!  I'm hoping that I don't pull my hair out today since I'm not going to be "out doing things".  But there are home projects, etc. so hopefully I can keep it together.


Side note:  My husband and I talked quite a bit yesterday, so I'm feeling like there's hope.  It's gonna be a long and bumpy ride.

foxman Jul 04, 2018 (10:23 AM)  

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So emotionally (from the deal with my husband) I'm exhausted.  But physically I feel really good!  I've never been a morning drinker, so all is well right now. 
 
Yes, we all been medicating the symptoms with alcohol. Unfortunately if we are alcoholic, after few days/months if we don't take care of the emotional upheavals our mind would get blind-sighted and would seek the bottle. That the first step in recovery. One should have a deep realization that we have change otherwise our mind will keep tripping us back to alcohol or other mind altering substances. I see lot of people come into the rooms but they never take this seriously then they switch to opiads or other stuff.

Lynn123 Jul 04, 2018 (09:58 AM)  

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It sounds like you have a plan for the day, that is a good start.  I was not an all day drinker either. I preferred to drink at home so no one would see how much I was drinking.  My wife has only a few drinks a year so she never paid attention to how much I was drinking. She was usually asleep when I finally stumbled to bed.  When I decided to stop I found myself dreading the thought of not drinking later in the day. Waiting for that “Ok” time to drink was awful. Knowing I had something to do made things better.


My initial plan was similar to yours.  I wanted to be able to have a few drinks with my friends and stop.  I set a goal for a month and then reassess. It was Ashley, one of the Health Educators on this site, that suggested abstinence for 3 months.  She advised that addiction counselors suggest a 3 month break then reassess. I almost feel out. That was not in my plan. At all. As the days turned to weeks, the weeks to months, I realized that life was so much better without alcohol.  That was almost 3 years ago and sometimes I think it would be nice to have an occasional drink. I may be able to stop at 1 or 2, I may not. I now find it’s just not worth the risk to find out.


I understand your disappointment in your husband not joining you last night.  His actions are not innocent but maybe he needs time to see that you are taking a serious approach to your problem.  This sounds like a tough time for you and I admire your courage to begin taking care of yourself in the midst of your marital struggle.  


I have not been on this site in a long time, it does not appear to be as active as it has been in the past.  There are a many helpful and knowledgeable people here and I will continue to check in and offer any help I can.  


Stay strong!


Lynn


MurphMom Jul 04, 2018 (08:49 AM)  

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Good morning!  So emotionally (from the deal with my husband) I'm exhausted.  But physically I feel really good!  I've never been a morning drinker, so all is well right now.  Those tough times come later.  I've got a lot of projects to get done today, so I'm hoping to work through the cravings.  I liked the question about my goal.  Ideally, I'd like to be what I perceive as "normal"....my friends and family are able to have one or two drinks - or none at all - and carry on with their lives.  They also don't drink alone like I do.  So that would be my favorite thing to do.  But...I realize that I'm going to need to abstain for a while, detox, and really ask myself if I can make that work long term.  Time will tell...


*Side note:  I was hoping my husband would sleep in the same room after everything that happened, and because I hadn't been drinking, but he didn't.  I was pretty sad about that.

Lynn123 Jul 04, 2018 (07:51 AM)  

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I have no idea why the previous post posted 3 times.  Sorry! :)

Lynn123 Jul 04, 2018 (07:48 AM)  

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MurphMom,


I hope the morning finds you well. For me, the first few days were scary. Change is hard and I had not gone without alcohol for more than a day or two. Having a plan in place for when cravings hit is a very good idea.  Your journey is day to day, but what is your goal? Initially you stated you either wanted to cut back or stop completely.  What do you feel is best for you?


Lynn


Lynn123 Jul 04, 2018 (07:48 AM)  

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MurphMom,


I hope the morning finds you well. For me, the first few days were scary. Change is hard and I had not gone without alcohol for more than a day or two. Having a plan in place for when cravings hit is a very good idea.  Your journey is day to day, but what is your goal? Initially you stated you either wanted to cut back or stop completely.  What do you feel is best for you?


Lynn


Lynn123 Jul 04, 2018 (07:48 AM)  

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MurphMom,


I hope the morning finds you well. For me, the first few days were scary. Change is hard and I had not gone without alcohol for more than a day or two. Having a plan in place for when cravings hit is a very good idea.  Your journey is day to day, but what is your goal? Initially you stated you either wanted to cut back or stop completely.  What do you feel is best for you?


Lynn


MurphMom Jul 03, 2018 (09:42 PM)  

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That's a great idea!  I need to make a list too.  I think one would be to walk my dog when I'm starting to crave wine.  Also - getting on here and starting a new thread or posting on someone else's thread is good too. I think I may start meditating daily as well.  

Gus Jul 03, 2018 (09:23 PM)  

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Hey MurphMom,

Lynn is right. Just mange one day at a time. 
I found early on when I quit, I needed a distraction to get me through the first few days. I wrote down three things to do when I felt like I might have an urge to drink. I think they were Netflix, a walk, or a hot bath. That redirection of my mind to these other items helped me through the early stages.. Regardless of what stress is going on in our lives, you and I both know drinking won’t make it better. Drinking makes it worse. 
Take care
Gus 

MurphMom Jul 03, 2018 (09:21 PM)  

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Thank you, Lynn123!  I'm really hoping I can get out of this hole.  I've been in it for quite a while.

Lynn123 Jul 03, 2018 (09:13 PM)  

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Welcome MurphMom and good job for taking the first steps.  Stay strong with what you want to accomplish and remember everyone starts with a Day 1.  Take one day at a time and try not to think about the days to come without alcohol. Good luck tonight.


Lynn

MurphMom Jul 03, 2018 (08:46 PM)  

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I just tossed it all tonight.  Didn't even have half of that glass.  I realized how dumb that was.  Do I want to save my marriage or not???  So today is D Day.

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