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4me Jun 04, 2019 (08:23 AM)  

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Joined: Jun 03, 2019

It is always accessible where I am. I have a wine store and service station 100m in one direction and a supermarket the same distance in the other direction. If my husband is out or late from work we can even get wine delivered to our door most hours of the evening. I do remember reading an interesting article regarding what you wrote about the brain and body needing more once you start and have been trying to find it to share. 

Thank you for reaching out!

foxman Jun 03, 2019 (02:12 PM)  

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Welcome to the forum. I could totally relate to the thought process that goes before that first drink. For you it was wine. For me it was a beer. But I would go back to the gas station several times to buy more beer after that first one. See I was of the idea that i cant get drunk if I dont store alcohol in the house. But never understood that certain percentage of the population belong to that category where they cannot keep from drinking and after they put a drink or two in the body, the body and mind wants more of it. I was asked to try the fellowship of AA and I began the process of working the steps few months later once I realized that I am an alcoholic and that I need an attitude shift. That came about working the 12 steps. Wish you good luck.

4me Jun 03, 2019 (11:41 AM)  

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Joined: Jun 03, 2019

Hi there! I'm a 38 year old mum and wife of a 5 year old and a 3 year old. After another overly excessive weekend of drinking (and taking drugs) I find myself here needing help.

On a daily basis one bottle of wine (even more) is the norm, with the weekends well in excess of that. It's taken a long time for me to come to the realisation that I have a problem. I am very good at hiding how much I drink (and how it makes me feel) from my friends and family. They just see a regular mum enjoying the occasional drink. I was heavily into my fitness (even though I was drinking) but I've started cancelling classes because I am just too hungover to attend. My kids are often electronically babysat with iPads and phones and fed with takeaway. Sometimes I've even fallen asleep whilst they have been watching their devices - I am just so lucky that nothing has happened! The housework and personal admin continues to pile up and so I say "I'll just have one glass" - famous last words.

Drinking in the UK is considered the norm and I have absolutely no idea what to say to friends - they all expect the party girl they've come to know and even make excuses for me to drink because they see me as "fine". Can I make up a complete lie and say I have a health problem or is that just feeding the vicious cycle? My anxiety is through the roof and stupidly I continue to drink (and occasionally take recreational drugs) despite taking anti-depressants. I think I've always had that "it won't happen to me mentality". 

I feel a huge weight lifted already and I imagine I'll be checking in here most days for the ongoing support.

Sending lots of love and strength to you all!

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