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hors controle Nov 22, 2019 (01:11 PM)  

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Welcome Yargsy,

Same pattern. Started drinking late teen and still drinking at 60, also have a high tolerance which I hoped I did not. They say that people with high tolerance are more keen to become alcoolic.

I do not know if you read my previous post. I stopped drinking one week short of two months and I felt so much better. I am back into it and feeling like ***. I look at myself in the mirror in the morning and I can see an old woman while when I quit, every body could see the difference and telling me I looked amazing ( compared to while I drank).  Even myself I can see the difference and I hate it. I also had more energy to do stuff around my place, doing fast walking, weight training, etc.

I stopped because my youngest stopped talking to me and it was very hard. My daughters have started going to Al-Anon and I think they understand now how hard it is to quit.

Like you, I am bored but also feeling more and more lonely after 14 years with my bottle instead of human being. I did mention this to my daughter two nights ago and yesterday morning I received a long email with link for activities for 50+ people. I told her I would go to the meeting for cross-country skiing since it is not just for 50+ and I did not want to be with old people, I still feel like 40's. She reminded me that I am 60 and they are getting closer to 40. 

I do understand we need a strong motivation to quit and only you can find it. It may take a while but you will.

Welcome again

If I want to get into activities and get outside the 4 walls, I have to quit. If I drink and drive, it could be jailtime since I was arrested once. If I drink, I will stay home alone, drinking, reading, watching TV, maybe go for a walk.

So I am planning on quitting again on Monday. I was supposed to on November 15th but had a drinking buddy over and could not do it. I have another drinking buddy over this weekend and after this, it has to be enough.

hors controle

Yargsy Nov 22, 2019 (10:56 AM)  

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Thank you Lynn.  You say you quit and it changed your life.  In what way did your life change, if you don't mind me asking?  Frankly, I don't know what to do with myself if I am not drinking at night.  Oh sure, I love to read, and I love to walk, but I can do those things while drinking if I want.

Additionally, like many, the drinks help mask the boredom and the general malaise.
I suppose I need a motivator to quit, or at the very least, significantly cut down.

Lynn123 Nov 21, 2019 (07:15 PM)  

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Yargsy,


Welcome back!  I completely understand what you are feeling.  We are about the same age and I used to consume way more alcohol than is considered normal.  I also thought I loved my drinks and looked forward to them.  I looked forward to them so much, that if I was trying to go a night without alcohol I became anxious and angry. Needless to say, I didn't go many days without alcohol. In no way did I want to quit, but I did and it changed my life.  I encourage you to continue to think about being alcohol free.  Have you thought about any short term goals?  Whatever you choose, it's a day to day journey, but we are here supporting you.

Lynn

Yargsy Nov 21, 2019 (03:35 PM)  

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Foxman - "High Octane Beers" are the only beers we Canadians drink.  I don't drink much beer, as liquor and wine are my go-tos, but when I do drink beers it had better not be a 'lite' beer or any American beers.  How pathetic is that.

foxman Nov 21, 2019 (11:45 AM)  

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I can relate. I quit hard liquor in 1990 and switched to beer and thought i was in control. But slowly it progressed back to the old way of drinking. When the good state of Georgia approved high octane beers I immediately switched to those high octane beers. For me I was drinking "Beer Only". Finally woke up 2006 and was led by my shrink to AA.

Yargsy Nov 20, 2019 (02:56 PM)  

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I have introduced myself before and here I am yet again.  It must be because I always seem to be on the start of this journey but never get passed the starting line.  ATP, your post resonated with me because I think I need to see my story in writing to really grasp the severity of my issue.

I am 56, have been drinking since I was 16.  At that age, it was just weekends, but now it is daily. To say it happened quickly would be a lie, it took years, but it was years of consistency.  I don't think that there has ever been a weekend that I have not drank since then, and now I can barely remember a day I have not had a drink.
My tolerence is high - Two cocktails (2.5 ounces each) and half to a full bottle of wine a night.  There, did it.  That's crazy for a woman.  How am I even healthy?  I get my annual bloodwork done and it comes back normal, but am I really healthy? 
About ten years ago, I had an unrelated ultrasound, which happened to pick up an enlarged liver.  One would think that that may have motivated me to cut down, and it did, for about a day.
I love my drinks, they make me happy, they are the only thing I truly look forward to.  How sad is that?  My life is good, by most people's standards, why then can I not find something to enjoy which doesn't include alcohol.
Like many, I don't want to quit, I just want to cut down , but am not sure that is an option.  I want to get ahead of my health before I am told it's too late and my only alternative is to quit drinking all together. 
It is inspiring to read other's struggles and successes and to know that I have a safe place here to be perfectly honest with myself.
Yargsy

hors controle Nov 17, 2019 (11:20 PM)  

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Welcome Mabel,

Admitting to ourself that we do not have control anymore is a big step. Drinking takes up so much of our time while at the same losing so much of it. The feeling of failure is hard  to accept but as many of the encouraging people on this site will tell you, it is not because you feel you have fail to control your drinking that you are a failure.

You mentioned you have great friends, family and support. Did you talk to them about your feelings? It helps sometimes. Especially to your partner. 


hors controle

Mabel787 Nov 16, 2019 (11:47 PM)  

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Hello everyone,


Brand new to this. Finally realizing that my drinking has become more than just a bad habit, but it is effecting everything in my life. Of course I realize that abstinence is the best way to go, but it scares the hell out of me. As a 32 year old woman with a great career/friends/family/ support group, I just feel as if I admit to not being able to control my drinking that I have failed in some way. 

I don't let drinking get in the way of my job - however, when I come home, all I do is drink and watch T.V which is causing my life with my partner to fall apart. 

I don't know where to start - but i have a feeling that admitting it and coming here and writing these words might be the first step.


Lynn123 Nov 05, 2019 (07:54 PM)  

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atp,


Welcome!  Trying to stop drinking does play with your mind, much like when you stopped smoking.  Drinking can encompasses so many aspects of our lives.  Often we are not even aware of all the ways drinking has entered our lives until we try to remove it.  Have you tried to moderate your drinking in the past?  You mentioned abstinence as something you may need to think about.  How does the thought of no alcohol make you feel?

I'm glad you found the site.  You will find a lot of support here.  Good luck!

Lynn 

foxman Nov 05, 2019 (01:24 PM)  

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Yes smoking was a tough one for me too. I quit early after I started my recovery. It was grueling. I had to use Chantix for getting off cigerettes. Coming of booze and smoking was challenging but some how I overcame the urges. For me the 12 steps of AA came really handy so I could handle the emotions better.

atp Nov 05, 2019 (10:44 AM)  

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foxman,


I appreciate the honest words.

Much like quitting smoking, I'm starting to think that I may need to keep off alcohol altogether, or risk being back to the same place I was. I suppose that I sort of stumbled onto quitting drinking by looking to lose weight, but I started to explore my drinking as a result. And I suppose I am still in that process now. 

A bit of an eye opener just to write it all out as I did. You always do think of others as having a problem, not yourself. Then I look at how much I was drinking and that is a problem. 

foxman Nov 05, 2019 (10:12 AM)  

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Atp, welcome to the forums. I dont want to rain on your parade. Some of us may never be able to moderate, total abstinence is the course. Some have to figure that out the hard way. And some may be able to stop on their own but some have to reach up to orgs like AA or other recovery groups. I know you already mentioned you have not reached that decision yet, but when you are trying moderation, see if you are consistent. What you started with is what you eventually had. Or was there some compromise here and there. I did that but always ended up in a worse condition than before. Be open minded, willing to look at options.

atp Nov 05, 2019 (05:10 AM)  

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Not sure but first post was cut off...here is the rest:

/cont.

So 2 weeks ago I decide i'm going to cut down. I decide that for the short term I won't buy beer for home. Everything I read suggest there may be withdrawal, so for a week I drink 2 of my favourite scotch and amaretto's each night. Last Friday I had nothing to drink. Saturday went out to darts with a buddy and I had 4 pints of beer. Since then I have not had a drink. It only 3 days today, but I feel a bit better. 

The withdrawal is not so much physical as it is mental for me. The routine of having a beer is what I miss. Kind of like when I quit smoking, the nicotine addiction was over in 2 weeks, but the mental side took me almost half a year to get over. 

I'm getting motivated to keep this up. Not sure if I want to commit to quitting drinking altogether, or restrict drinking to only social occasions, but as the days pass and the more I read the more I think it may be better to quit. I didn't start on this journey to quit drinking, I just wanted to lose some weight. 

It is a bit hard to write out what I did about the drinking. To read it now I sound much worse that I saw myself when it came to drinking. 

atp Nov 05, 2019 (05:04 AM)  

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Hi all,


It's a strange thing coming around to the realization that I am an addict and need to make changes. My story:

I'm 51, self employed, married 27 years with 2 kids (24yo special needs son, 20yo son). 

10 months ago I quit smoking cold turkey. Was a pack a day man for 30 years. Tried to quit half heartedly a few times before, but last quit was motivated by a bet with my 20yo old son to get him to quit smoking too (it worked). It was hard but I was motivated. 

So in the last 10 months I've gained about 25 pounds - partly due to the quitting smoking (I'm hungry all the time since I quit) and partly because of getting older and also liking my home cooking. And likely my drinking....

I hit 250 lbs a few weeks ago. I'm over 6'0" and doctor said I would feel much better being down around 200lbs. I started to get a stomach and noticed it one day getting ready for a fundraiser and my dress shirt was tight. Also I was starting to dislike looking in the mirror at myself without a shirt on. I just had a bigger 'beer gut.  

Long story short I decide I need to get my weight under control. Rather than dieting I decide I need to make a lifestyle change so I hit the internet and start looking up men over 50 (sigh, I feel old now) weight management. Aside from realizing that i need to start looking at portion sizes, cutting out snacks and looking at total calories, I keep reading about the amount of calories in alcohol. So is start researching alcohol and it effects, then alcohol and quitting drinking, etc. 

I downloaded myfitnesspal and started to log my caloric intake. A bit of an eye opener. I never thought about how much calories were involved in beer. Some days i'm drinking over 1000 calories of beer. So if I want to lose weight I'm gonna have to do something about my beer drinking as well. 

Cutting out that bag of potato chip at nights was easy (although I do miss those ketchup flavoured chips). Cutting out beer though......

So I was drinking between 3 and 9 beers a day. Mostly light beer that I could drink like it was water. Although I'd alternate with a premium honey brown ale which I usually drank less when I did buy it. Some weekends in the summer doing yard work or whatnot I could go through a 24 case easy. But I didn't think I had a drinking problem. If we were out and about I  could go all day without a drink and not think about it. And most evenings I would stop drinking by about 8pm. The occasional scotch and amaretto on the rocks in the evening, or maybe a glass of wine. I also never had more than 1 drink if I was to be driving anywhere (driving as part of my work forced me to be responsible with no drinking and driving - otherwise no income). 

My drinking increased about 10 years ago. It became daily. Heck some days my first beer would be at 11am if I was out doing yard work. I would have the rare days I would not drink. In a week there was probably an average of 2 days where my drinks were less than 3. 

It was rare for me to be 'drunk'. Worst was the lack of energy and the wanting to go to bed earlier.  Last hangover I had was in the spring when visiting family in Europe and I drank way too much Vodka in celebration with my cousins. 

So, in trying to lose some weight I am faced with the reality of my alcohol use - wow I really do have a problem with how much I'm drinking. 

So 2 weeks ago I decide i'm going to cut down. I decide that for the short term I won't buy beer for home. Everything I read suggest there may be withdrawal, so for a week I dri

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