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Cryptkeeper May 17, 2017 (05:06 PM)  

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I needed two things: 1) The first was to rekindle my relationship with God, and 2) a near fatal head-on collision into a concrete wall fueled by alcohol, prescription drugs and the deepest darkest depression one could imagine. I intentionally put God as number 1 as it was His grace, mercy, love, faithfulness and purposes that kept me from dying that fateful night, otherwise I would not be writing this post.

Cryptkeeper (a.k.a. David)

foxman May 17, 2017 (01:23 PM)  

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I found it the hard way that my mind is warped. It would always take me back to the comfort/effect produced by alcohol. Even though, I don't like the taste of it. Thats the peculiar mental twist the book Alcoholics Anonymous talks about over and over again.

Try visiting a local AA meeting or some of the AA forums (i like e-aa.org/forum). You can get acquainted with the concepts of powerlessness and un-manageability. What you described are symptoms that arise after we put down the bottle. Our internal discomfort comes un-glued. It could take several shapes and forms. For me it was boredom, road rage, subtle depression.......

Sistermaryagnes May 17, 2017 (01:15 PM)  

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to give up something I don't even like any more? I've found my alcohol consumption increasing in direct proportion to my misery-

I'm starting with a psychiatrist at the end of the month because I have no doubt that there are underlying issues relating to depression, menopause, etc., but meantime, I'm looking for whatever support I can get. 
I get sad and lonely and then, I guess because I feel better for about an hour, I decide to drink. After that first hour? No fun at all, but by then I can't stop.
Oy, vey. 


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