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foxman Aug 12, 2017 (08:35 PM)  

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AlliBee, thats the most courageous thing to do. Dont feel nervous, We all gone through that, people will welcome you and make you feel at home. Listen to peoples share, see if you can pick up the book Alcoholics Anonymous. If they dont carry one, you can always find one from a local thrift store. Also there is online edition at AA.com.
 

Read the chapters More About Alcoholism, There is a Solution and also read Bill Story and see if you can relate to the downward spiral we all get into. That vicious cycle/alcoholic torture. And see how Bill gets out of that hole. Its a very inspiring story (history actually).

AlliBae1984 Aug 12, 2017 (09:38 AM)  

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@foxman  Thanks for your support; I go to my first meeting today.

@herval gal  I appreciate your understanding; I do feel like I have a lot on my plate and was trying to do "it all" without enough support or asking for help. I feel like I have a good support system, but wasn't using it out of pride. I will check out those YouTube videos you suggested later today!

herval gal Aug 10, 2017 (01:09 PM)  

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Welcome AlliBae 1984,

The pain in your intro is palatable. People can be so darn judgmental and not at all understanding when it comes to weaknesses involving substance abuse.  While you take care of so many as nurse, mother and wife, there is no one to take care of you.  It is understandable that the only way you have found to escape your endless responsibilities is to self medicate. So, rather than trying to do this on "will power" know what really has to change is your mindset. What has helped me to stay focused are a couple of inspiring sites..."Can't stop thinking about drinking" and " Alcohol Mastery TV" (on youtube). We here at AHC empathize with all that you are going through because we live it. Please keep reaching out and we'll be here for you. You are not alone, you will get through this and you can be so very proud of yourself for taking this most important step. 
hg

foxman Aug 09, 2017 (06:33 AM)  

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Allibee, welcome.Please look up local AA or CA meetings and get support 

AlliBae1984 Aug 08, 2017 (10:14 PM)  

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Hello. Today is my day one. I am a 33 year old female. I am a wife. I am a mom of 3 kids (boy, 8; boy, 7; girl, 2). I am a nurse. I am an addict. Alcohol has never been my friend. I have always had social anxiety and quickly learned when I was young that alcohol "helped me" in social situations. I would drink to ease my nerves, and  I wouldn't stop. I would black out often and my "friends" encouraged my drinking because it was entertaining for them. When I got pregnant with my first son I stopped going out for the most part and pretty much successfully stopped drinking for several years. After I had my daughter (2015),  my depression was at an all-time high. I met a girl at work and we started going out together. Within the past couple of years my drinking has spiraled out of control. I also started smoking marijuana and snorting coke socially. I probably have done other things I do not recall. My drug use has slowly and steadily increased and has become a problem as well. I crawled into the house this morning around 5 am after a night of binge drinking and drug use and my husband was waiting for me. He confronted me and I broke down and told him about my drinking and drug use. This is the first time I have admitted it, and I saw the shock, disgust, and disappointment in his face. He wanted me to leave but I didn't have anywhere safe to go. We talked about a lot, and I admitted a lot of disturbing things. For now he is willing to help me, but I don't know what that means for our relationship and our future. I am trying not to focus on that because I need to get clean for me and my kids need their Mom back. This is my day one and I am so incredibly scared, but hopeful.

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