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Ashley-Health Educator Jul 28, 2018 (07:19 PM)  

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Thanks so much Pasco! I appreciate what you said a lot. :)


I think many members can relate to your very predicament. Changing a pattern of behaviour coupled with an addiction is so, so hard. It takes not only a desire to quit but also lots of preparation and support. I am so glad you found us too! Please take full advantage of all the info here. You will get to where you want to be...it's only a matter of how long it takes us to figure out what works for you. :) 
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Pasco Jul 24, 2018 (10:27 PM)  

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Thanks a lot Foxman.  

foxman Jul 23, 2018 (08:26 AM)  

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Welcome to the forums Pasco. I can relate to what you have said. My car will automatically drive into a gas station or a package store and pick up that first beer for the day and then, I would go several times back and forth. I was a person who thought, If i dont store booze in my house I will not get drunk. 

Later on the book Alcoholics Anonymous talks about this "peculiar mental twist" or blank spots that we all go through prior to taking that first drink. The mind takes over. We are absolutely powerless at that moment. And then we are bodily and mentally affected. The body and mind wants more. I could then relate to my experience.
 
Worst of all when I use to stop, I couldn't handle the emotional upheavals and would constantly go back to what I know best, alcohol. Later on i came to know that is un-treated alcoholism. Today I keep that un-manageability under check by following some simple rules.

Pasco Jul 23, 2018 (05:53 AM)  

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Thinking about urges: so many times I've wanted to take a week (or, let me be honest: just 2 or 3 days) off from drinking and so I make plans and vows and sign contracts and etc...(all of those things on hangover days) then the next day I'm doing ok...then wham I've got my wallet and keys and I'm at the store and then back home and before I even know what's going on I'm drinking.  I've put up reminders and sticky notes and whiteboard marker affirmations on windows and mirrors and everything in between, but there's that certain time of day, about 2pm or so, when I just grab the wallet and can't not buy the stuff.  I don't know how to pull in the reins on that urge and get past it.  It wouldn't bother me if I didn't want to stop, but I really do want to stop.  And I just want to say I'm so happy this group exists, and people like Ashley saying such awesome, kind, and intelligent stuff...means a lot.

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