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hors controle May 01, 2019 (03:36 PM)  

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Hi needachange,

I don't know how old are your children but mine are early 30 now. They have always seen me drink. My youngest daughter has not talk to me since my birthday 2 months ago today because she says it hurts her too much.

So I am trying again. Day one today. Again.  I also find the late afternoon and evening hardest because I realize I feel very lonely.

Good luck in your search

hors controle

needachange7 Apr 22, 2019 (10:26 PM)  

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Your kind words and encouragement mean so much to me. I have been so low lately in my moods. I feel like I am hanging onto emotional stability by a thread. I see my therapist tomorrow. Yes, I loved being home alone every evening with my husband. Once the kids were in bed we were free to indulge. I know it will get better and your kind words touch my heart. 

foxman Apr 20, 2019 (08:34 AM)  

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Welcome to the forums Needachange. About few years ago, I would not buy large quantities of beer and store beer in my house and would think having alcohol in my house is causing me to drink more. Then I would pick a beer on my way back from work but then once I put that beer in my body I would make several trips to the package store. And then came a phase where I would attempt to stay stopped. But few days later, I mind would come up with some excuse to buy "couple of beers" again. In those short periods of sodriety my state of being was miserable. Later on my shrink suggested that I attend few AA meetings. There I learned there are few that fall under that category of people who cannot stay stopped unless otherwise they have a total shift in attitude. They call it a spiritual awakening. There is a chapter "More about alcoholism" in the book Alcoholics Anonymous, I encourage you to read that and see if you can relate to the terms "peculiar mental twist" that precedes that first drink.

Lynn123 Apr 18, 2019 (07:23 PM)  

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Hello needachange7 and congratulations on one week with alcohol.  Being without anything you are familiar with is hard, alcohol is no exception.  It’s been so many to you and now it’s gone. I remember the feeling and it’s not a good one.  


For me there were things that I had not done at night because I had isolated myself to my house so I could drink as much as I wanted.  Are there things you once wanted to do at night and didn’t because you were drinking? Perhaps making a list of things you could do in the evening.  Maybe something that gets you out of the house, the place you used to drink. You used the term “we,” does that mean someone is going through this time with you?  


Good luck to you.  I hope the pain of abstinence fades as your alcohol free days increase.  


needachange7 Apr 18, 2019 (07:31 AM)  

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I’m on my first week of abstinence and I feel confident that this is the only way that will work for me. We cleared the house out and made a deal we would not have any alcohol in the home for the time being. We will allow ourselves a drink or two if we are out or at friends’ places but not at home because it’s way too easy for me to overdo it every single night.  

The pain of abstinence has been very difficult on me. My evenings suck and are emotional because I can’t have what I want and what I have relied on for years. I’m proud of my decision and I KNOW it is the right choice for me, but I am finding it very painful. 

Ashley-Health Educator Dec 28, 2018 (05:25 PM)  

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Hi Sportsfan89,


Great question! The program contains a ton of great advice on how to pace yourself.  I encourage you to have a read.

Also, if you are attempting moderation it is best to go through a period of abstinence first. This allows us to change our habits and lifestyle effectively. Addictions counsellor recommend a three month abstinence period and then to reassess if you would like to continue to drink and under what conditions. Total abstinence can be very challenging for people who drink regularly. It often helps knowing that this will more likely lead to success and it is only temporary.

Other ways to pace yourself is to only keep small amounts of alcohol in the house, having a glass of water between each drink, choosing drinks with a lower alcohol content, avoiding people you often over drink with. Also, what is your danger range? Some people can have one or two drinks and then stop but when they reach a certain point they have trouble stopping. Know your danger range and do not go above it under any circumstances. Having a supportive quit buddy can also help to remind you but you have to be the one to work on the self control and should not be the responsibility of someone else.

I hope some more members stop by to offer their suggestions.

Keep us updated on how you are doing,


Ashley, Health Educator

The AHC Support Team

Sportsfan89 Dec 18, 2018 (03:01 PM)  

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Hello everyone, 


My name is D.B and my biggest problem is when I start to drink, I lose control and can't stop. I was wondering if anyone has any tips or suggestions to help me pace myself. 

Thanks 

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