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hors controle Oct 13, 2019 (01:09 PM)  

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And by the way, very good idea to skip seeing them for a few months. Let us know how you manage for Thanks Giving and don't feel guilty if you slip. We are only humans.

Happy Thanks Giving!!

hors controle

hors controle Oct 13, 2019 (01:00 PM)  

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Lol. Don't feel guilty about the junk food. I have double the number of cookies I hate per day.

Ont thing at the time

M

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Vee Oct 13, 2019 (08:17 AM)  

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Thank you Lynn , you are so right and it makes total sense . I will be practising and i think i am going to write down all the reasons i feel i should not drink(there are many ) to help me also . 


Thank you Hors and its not harsh at all! I will be after this thanks giving not visiting either until Christmas or even next spring. This will totally give me time to build the strength . and like i said when i am home i have no problem not drinking but mind you i do replace taht with junk food( i know sounds silly but true ) 

Thank you so much for the replies :) 

hors controle Oct 06, 2019 (12:48 PM)  

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Hi Vee,

You might find this post a little harsh but may I ask you if you have to visit these persons until you are strong enough to say NO to them in a way they will see you mean business?

I like the way you are starting the reflexion on where you want to be. You are on the right track. Keep going!

M

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Lynn123 Oct 06, 2019 (08:33 AM)  

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Hello Vee.  I read you're post, Self Care, and it sounds like you have been doing a lot of reflecting which is good.  We are all different and it comes down to each of us finding out what makes us do the things we do.  It sounds like you are a little down on yourself for succumbing to the pressure around you.  What if you begin now setting yourself up for the next time you encounter this pressure.  In your mind practice the way that you will say no.  A no that will be understood as NO.  Many times our body language says more than our words.  You may be saying no, but they may be seeing yes.  Does that make sense?  Maybe if you can do this it will give you confidence for the next pressure situation.  It's all about one day at a time.  Good luck!

Vee Oct 06, 2019 (07:07 AM)  

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Thanks High Tower , youre right need to focus on me. yesterday they wouldnt stop , have a drink, loosen up, relax, i said no , no , no , but ended up having one . did go over board like night before but still caved . but again that has to do with me i could have stuck to my decision . so i have some goals to work on that i am setting for myself. that is sticking to my decision and trusting myself. no ddrink its a love hate relationship with alcohol ( hard to explain) and to find things to help me when i feel i need to run from my emotions through food or alcohol. ( i suppose find ways to handle them? ) no clue . Thank you so much i like the sound of that drink sounds yummy ,., will try it 

High Tower Oct 05, 2019 (03:24 PM)  

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Hi Vee


I live in house with drinkers. In am almost 3 weeks without alcohol and they have quit several times (they lasted from several hours to a whole day) in the last month. I am not sure if this will help you but I focus on what I need to do and not on them. It seems to make it easier to say no when offered. they are relatives and I would like to see them drink less, they drink until they drink too much. I can't fix them but I can fix myself and that is what I focus on. 

My drink of choice right now is 1/6 ginger ale, 1/6 cran/grape juice and 2/3 water. The juice is way too strong straight and this gives a low cal drink that I enjoy. It also gives me a drink in my hand and I am less likely to be offered a drink if I have one already. The drinkers don't seem to care what you are drinking but that you have a drink to drink with them.

Lastly don't feel ashamed or a failure for slipping, we carry enough baggage around without that burden. The path is narrow and long and it is all to easy to stray a bit, just find your way back and continue on your journey. Hopefully you learn from this slip and be better prepared next time.

Good luck and remember, We are all pulling for you.

Hugs
High Tower

Vee Oct 05, 2019 (09:57 AM)  

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Thanks Hors and Lyn i am so glad i found a place where i  can get support and also share and hoprfully helps someone not feel alone . Thanks for the support 

Lynn123 Oct 05, 2019 (09:42 AM)  

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Glad you came back in here!  We're all pulling for you. :)

hors controle Oct 05, 2019 (09:13 AM)  

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Yes you can!! :-)

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Vee Oct 05, 2019 (08:54 AM)  

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Thank you so much Hors , i just feel like it .  i am going to pick myself up and take it a day at time but still with the same goal . i have done it before i can do it again , 

hors controle Oct 05, 2019 (07:56 AM)  

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Hi Vee,

Don't be so hard on yourself. I was at a discussion AA meeting last night and one of the subject brought up for discussion was substitution. 

The conclusion of the meeting was to just keep trying. You slipped? Try to get back on track as son as possible even if it is hard. You are not a human failure. You are human.

Good luck this weekend.

M

hors controle

Vee Oct 05, 2019 (07:48 AM)  

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Thanks for replying everyone . I did eat when i was drinking but on the days i didnt . and it sounds like a plan to find a way to sooth or maybe cope . I have high anxiety already spoke to doctor and awaiting therapy but i think that i have used the drinking to not feel the constant anxiety and the eating  . i think i need to learn coping skills for the anxiety? not sure . and i was doing well with my plan not to drink but came up to see my family and drank....again and now not only do i feel bad physically i feel bad mentally . ashamed , anxiety all that stuff . 

Ashley-Health Educator Sep 27, 2019 (01:32 PM)  

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Hi Vee,


It sounds like you are using food to sooth yourself as you may have done with alcohol. The problem with using a substance to sooth yourself is it is never enough. You may continually drink or eat to fix a feeling (boredom, unresolved trauma, etc.) but that feeling cannot be fixed with food or alcohol. Speaking with a counsellor may help you pin point what exactly you are trying to sooth. 

Finding alternative ways to sooth yourself may also help you take control. What are other ways you can sooth yourself? You may need to attempt new activities that you have not tried in the past. It may not feel natural at first but with practice you can create a new normal. For now, I would focus on your goal around alcohol and on finding alternative ways too sooth. I would not focus on eating right now though as taking on too much can be overwhelming.

What are your thoughts on all this?


Ashley, Health Educator

The AHC Support Team

hors controle Sep 24, 2019 (07:44 AM)  

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Hi Vee,

Did you eat too much when you were drinking?

M

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