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Vee Mar 06, 2020 (08:07 AM)  

Posts: 39
Joined: Sep 15, 2019

 100% ! I have read a bit of the book and can relate to most stories, I have been convincing myself in all shapes and forms for decades . I convinced myself Saturday . and here I am still feeling crappy on day six after the fact.  When I drink  dont feel any anxiety ( which I suffer from am in meds) and so I think I just chase it .  Only  it cause's  way more after . 

Thanks for replying Foxman and for the info and support ! 


foxman Mar 04, 2020 (04:46 PM)  

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Joined: Oct 24, 2008
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doesn't really make sense .
Vee, yes it doesn't make sense. The issue is our mind is wired to seek that sense of ease and comfort by taking couple of drinks. You can go back to your drinking history. Look at the surroundings on you went about picking up that first drink again. Perhaps after few months, your mind said, its going to be fine this time. This is what I will do drink just 2 beers. In fact, instead of buy a 6 pack, we probably pick 2 12 oz beers if they allow sale of loose beers or buy a 20 oz beer and come home and drink them. Proud that we did it and could control it. It probably go fine for couple days maybe even a week. But suddenly we start loosening up. 2 becomes 3 and 4...then then back to square one. 
The book Alcoholics Anonymous talks about 2 scenarios. Sometimes we deliberate and eventually convince ourselves to pick up, sometimes, we just pick up, we dont even think. Somebody offers you a drink, you take it. They refer to that as blank spots.
First step in recovery is to realize that we have a problem and work on ourselves to get rid of certain attitude that drove us to that state of mind.

Vee Mar 01, 2020 (02:41 PM)  

Posts: 39
Joined: Sep 15, 2019

it has been a while , how is everyone doing?  me myself  I am doing well but I  drank, yesterday , was almost two months .  its funny , I feel so angry at myself .why do I love something I hate ?  doesn't really make sense . I hate drinking because of the person I become, because of the ways act , and  for the shame , and over and all those feelings physical and emotional that come. I do sooo well , almost two months I think nada and them boom! I self destruct. something I tend to do and have done so much in the past. ugh anyone that can relate or at least have suggestions ? hope everyone is doing well. I like coming here so much support and understanding .

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