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Gus Dec 11, 2018 (11:59 AM)  

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Hi Hors Controle,

First, for full disclosure. I quit almost 3 years. Had a lapse last year (due to not think properly).  I am back on track again now. 

 The critical element for successfully stopping for me was changing my thinking. Once I figured that part out, quitting was actually not hard at all. I genuinely mean it. Once I started thinking properly, it was not hard at all. 

I listened to an audiobook by Allan Carr called Easy Way to Control Alcohol. This book was really helpful. It helped me get clear in my own mind what benefit alcohol was actually giving me. Alcohol is the biggest confidence trick in the world. It does the very opposite of what it pretends its doing. So for example, when you think a drink is helping you quench your thirst, its actually dehydrating you. When you think alcohol is helping you relax, its actually making you more nervous and depressed. In other words, its a scam. To me, its the biggest scam going in society right now. 

Lately I have listened to a great podcast. Her name is Rachel Hart, and her podcast is called Take a Break from Drinking. She talks a lot about the Think-Feel-Act cycle, and about the fact that focusing on our THINKING is actually the essential element in successfully stopping. Incidentally, I listened to her about 2 months before I figured out her podcasts were for women. But whatever, it worked:).

I also did listen to a friend on this website. He recommended an AA meeting. I went and haven't looked back since. The guy at the meeting gave me a Sobriety Coin and told me "The next time you think about taking a drink, trying swallowing this first!" I oftentimes think about that and have a chuckle to myself! 

Give yourself a break from it Hors Controle. You deserve it. You will not regret it. And I can assure you, once you start thinking about it right, its not hard. Just get your head in the right space. Maybe Rachel hart is the place to start? 

Take care. I hope to hear from you soon
Gus

hors controle Dec 11, 2018 (07:59 AM)  

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Bravo Gus,

I am trying to change my mind. I have set January 2nd as my last day of drinking or I should say my first day of sobriety. Tired of spending all that money and passing out, blacking out.

May I asked you if you had any....how should I say; How did you manage to change your thinking? Any routine, reading, etc.? 

hors controle

Gus May 28, 2016 (09:17 PM)  

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Hey guys,

Ashley and Jessmess,  it wasnt exactly willpower that got me over the line. I had to think about drinking differently in order to quit. I started picturing myself not depending on alcohol . I had to picture myself not drinking being the new normal for me. 

The difference between the old me and new me is my mindset, and how i think about drinking now, vrs how I thought about it when I was drinking. I drank from age 14 to age 41. And my drinking got really bad from about age 35 onward. So the "normal" for me was drinking. Socializing involved alcohol. Winding down involved alcohol. Weekends involed alcohol. Work trips involved alcohol. When I was down in the dumps I drank, and when I was haply I drank. 

In order to get me over the line, I had to first get my mind thinking that not drinking in those situations was going to be the new normal for me, and I had to get comfortable with that. I had to tell myself it was going to be OK to go through thosse situations without drinking. And you know what? I went through those situations, the world didnt end, I got through just fine.  

I genuinely do enjoy life now maybe 200 percent more since I quit. I am in the game in all situations now. I dont have periods every night that are blanks. i can think better than I have in years. 

Jessmess, I can honestly say I cant think of one reason to drink anymore. I have too many great things going on now to screw it up with alcohol. A good friend of mine asked me last September if I would ever consider going back to drinking. I told me honestly that I have as much interest in drinking alcohol as I have in drinking batttery acid. I have no interest in it anymore. 

I'm looking forward to your updates Jessmess. I hope you got An idea or two from my posts.
Be good to yourself!
Gus



Ashley-Health Educator May 24, 2016 (01:23 PM)  

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Congratulations Gus!!

Thanks for posting your insightful thoughts on what made you successful. I am sure it will be helpful to other members. I find it interesting how you said that changing your thinking about drinking was essential to your quit. I think that is a very important and wise point. How were you able to change your thinking? What are the main differences between your thinking now and then?
 
 
Ashley, Health Educator

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jessmess May 24, 2016 (12:17 PM)  

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Congrats Gus. Very inspiring...I've set a 3 month goal then it will be 6 then 12. I hope I can achieve this like you did. It's impressive that you were able to change the way you think using willpower.  I'm at 2 weeks sober and feel that you're right - sobriety can become the new normal. I also find I too have much more fun and am more present in social situations. Much more energy. 


Good job and keep it up!

Can'tFailThisTime May 20, 2016 (12:39 PM)  

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Congratulations, Gus!  That is so inspirational.  And I really love your points and agree with them all.


CF

Julie May 20, 2016 (09:55 AM)  

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Gus,


What a wonderful milestone, a whole year without alcohol.  A huge congratulations; well done!  I agree that quitting is a learning process and we keep trying until we get it right.  I like the idea of a new normal, a new life.  I am about a month behind you and your thoughts have inspired me along the way.  I am grateful that you take the time to share your story and for your support along the way.  Your kids are lucky to have you!  Keep up the great work!

Gus May 20, 2016 (09:28 AM)  

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Hey everyone,

I have been quit drinking now over a year. I tried quitting for maybe 2 or 3 years, so I have learned a few things about trying to quit, then successfully quitting.

I'm not going to get on my soapbox here and tell you all the reasons why quitting is a good idea. All of us have a reason, or multiple reasons, for quitting. I quit for my kids. I want to be there for them, and when I was drinking, I wasn't. And I quit for my own sanity, because I think drinking was destroying me mentally. And I quit drinking because it killed one of my good friends at age 38. If you have decided you want to quit, for whatever reason, just try and figure out how to do it. 

I have learned a few things about drinking, and quitting in the last few years. I am going to list them off below. I am hoping my list below gives one of you who are trying to quit, or stay quit, an idea to help you out.

  • To quit successfully, I had to think about drinking differently. Saying "I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it." didn't work for me. It wasn't until I started thinking about drinking differently that I managed to quit successfully. 
  • The first few days are not easy, but it got easier after a few days. And it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. 
  • I had a few urges early on when I quit first. When I got an urge, I replaced alcohol with diet pop. Its not good for you either, but it isn't as bad as alcohol was for me.
  • After a week or so of being quit, I noticed my sleep patterns were getting normal. Instead of passing out, I was falling asleep, and having long, deep sleeps, waking up fresh.
  • Not having hangovers is awesome! I have gone now over a year without waking up with a headache, dry mouth, and guilt from drinking.
  • Since I stopped drinking, my downs aren't as deep as they used to be. I still get down about things at times, as life still happens. But the downs aren't as long or as deep.
  • You can have lots of fun at social functions without drinking. I have attended weddings, parties, and many other functions without. 
  • Since I stopped drinking, I am more honest with myself and others around me.
  • Not drinking can be your new normal. I think if you try to quit, you need to start thinking that not drinking is the new normal for you, same as drinking was before. I set that expectation deep in my brain. I expected not to drink, and that mindset seemed to help. I think its called visualizing
This site is a great site to post thoughts and be honest. No one around me really knows I'm quit over a year. I don't want to deal with people's reactions with me quitting drinking. But here on this site, I can be honest. And I get lots of great feedback from friends like Julie and Ashley. 

Thanks for all your help and support in the last year everyone!
Gus





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